I have lived many lives, existing among scars, joys, and sorrows.
I transit between: the whirlwind of thoughts churning my mind, the childlike imagination that returns unbidden, and silence— the flooding pleasure of silence.
I unravel into fragments mingling with life and daily deaths. In this existence, I die incessantly: through sex’s jubilation, trauma’s assaults, or small violences I unleash upon myself.
Thus, pieces of who I was remain behind, as my body turns inside out— expelling remnants of myself to begin again… always.
“la petite mort” – French expression denoting brief loss or weakening of consciousness specifically tied to post-orgasmic sensation. More broadly, it signifies the spiritual release accompanying orgasm, or transient melancholy/transcendence following the expenditure of “vital force.” Literary critic Roland Barthes described la petite mort as literature’s ultimate aim—the feeling one should experience when encountering great writing. It also applies when undesirable events wound so deeply that “a part of oneself dies within.”
Translated with Deepseek AI
